


English Tutor

by pandizzy



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternative Universe - Modern Setting, Multi, texting au, theon is disgusting, this is just texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-06-05 18:41:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15176909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandizzy/pseuds/pandizzy
Summary: When Sansa Stark needs an english tutor, Theon Greyjoy suggests his boyfriend's best friend: Jon.





	English Tutor

_Jon Snow:_  you’re an asshole. did you know that?

_Theon Greyjoy:_ im sure you’re right but why?

_Jon Snow:_ you told sansa i could tutor her in english.

_Theon Greyjoy:_  yeah youre going to have to help me in this one, snow

_Theon Greyjoy:_  how is this a bad thing?

_Jon Snow:_ because i have a crush on her since eleventh year

_Theon Greyjoy:_  ok and the sky is blue. tell me something new

_Jon Snow:_  i’m going to be all nervous and clumsy around her and she’s going to fail english because of me

_Jon Snow_ : and it’s all your fault

_Theon Greyjoy_ : wow tone it down drama queen

_Jon Snow:_  theon i swear to god

_Theon Greyjoy:_  oh im sorry

_Theon Greyjoy:_  next time i wont tell my boyfriend’s sister how my roommate is good with english and he can help her

_Jon Snow:_  robb isn’t your boyfriend

_Theon Greyjoy:_ oh yeah?

_Theon Greyjoy:_ video_023.mov

_Jon Snow:_ jesus cHRIST THEON WARN ME FIRST

_Jon Snow:_  I’M IN CLASS RIGHT NOW

_Jon Snow:_  DO NOT SEND ME BJ VIDEOS WHEN I AM IN CLASS.

_Theon Greyjoy_ : can i send them when you are not in class then?

_Theon Greyjoy:_  jon

_Theon Greyjoy:_  jon answer me

_Jon Snow:_ seen at 12:45 a.m.

_Theon Greyjoy:_  fucker

* * *

_Jon Snow:_ i didn’t know you could deep throat

_Robb Stark_ : god i love context

* * *

_Sansa Stark:_  hey jon this is sansa!

_Sansa Stark:_  robb gave me your number

_Jon Snow:_  hey what’s up

_Sansa Stark:_  i just wanted to know if you could help me with english

_Sansa Stark:_  a little bird told me that you are a straight A student

_Sansa Stark:_ also olenna’s favorite

_Jon Snow:_  i wouldn’t say favorite

_Sansa Stark:_  well you arent denying the straight A thing

_Jon Snow:_ can’t deny what is truth

_Sansa Stark:_  lol

_Sansa Stark:_ anyway, i was wondering if you would mind helping me

_Sansa Stark:_  im this close II to failing english

_Jon Snow:_ sure!

_Jon Snow:_ i’ll text you the details later, ok?

_Sansa Stark:_  k

* * *

_Arya Stark:_ why r u asking jon for help in english?

_Sansa Stark:_ because he’s olenna’s ta??????

_Arya Stark_ : yeah i know

_Arya Stark_ : but u r good in english

_Arya Stark_ : so y?

_Sansa Stark:_ it’s called flirting, arya

_Arya Stark:_  ?????

_Sansa Stark_ : it’s a human interaction, people do it to either have sex or enter a meaningful relationship based in mutual support

_Sansa Stark_ : don’t worry about it

_Arya Stark:_  literally fuck you

* * *

_Jon Snow:_ she said k

_Jon Snow_ : what do you think she meant by that

_Samwell Tarly_ : maybe

_Samwell Tarly_ : i dont know

_Samwell Tarly_ : she just meant “ok” and your overreacting

_Jon Snow_ : you’re*

_Samwell Tarly_ : i will literally block you

* * *

_Sansa Stark:_ hey thanks so much for your help today

_Jon Snow:_ no problem

_Sansa Stark_ : yeah, you’re so much nicer than what theon led me to believe

_Jon Snow_ : what did he say?

_Jon Snow_ : sansa what did he say?

_Sansa Stark_ : oh you know the usual

_Sansa Stark:_  that you have a crush on me and stuff

_Jon Snow:_  little shit

* * *

_Jon Snow:_  you told sansa i like her?

_Theon Greyjoy_ : maybe

_Jon Snow_ : you have ten minutes to be home before i burn all of your stuff

_Theon Greyjoy_ : wow i dont believe you one bit

_Jon Snow_ : you will live to regret this

* * *

_Arya Stark_ : be careful with sansa

_Jon Snow:_ why do people always tell me to be careful with someone else?

_Jon Snow:_  why can’t others be careful with me?

_Jon Snow_ : i’m dangerous you know

_Jon Snow_ : a heartbreaker

_Arya Stark_ : jon, when you meet someone, you’re as a heartbreaker as a newborn duck who has just imprinted

_Jon Snow_ : why do you feel the need to be like that?

* * *

_Robb Stark_ : dont be mean to jon

_Robb Stark:_  he is actually a really nice guy

_Robb Stark_ : and he doesnt deserve another heartbreak

_Sansa Stark_ : what makes you think im going to break his heart?

_Robb Stark:_ do you want my reasons in alphabetical or chronological order?

_Sansa Stark:_  surprise me

* * *

_Arya Stark_ : why were u wearing robbs clothes 2day?

_Theon Greyjoy_ : ask me in three years and i will tell you about the wonders of a sexual relantionship

_Arya Stark_ : disgusting

* * *

_Sansa Stark_ : hey jon

_Jon Snow_ : hey

_Sansa Stark_ : there is this music festival happening in winter town this weekend

_Sansa Stark:_  and jeyne said she cant come with me

_Sansa Stark_ : and i have an extra ticket

_Sansa Stark_ : so i wanted to know you would mind coming with me

_Sansa Stark_ : only if you’re free, of course

_Jon Snow_ : oh i’m free

_Jon Snow_ : i’m really free

_Jon Snow_ : IF THERE IS SOMETHING THAT I AM IS FREE

* * *

_Samwell Tarly_ : do you have any milk?

_Jon Snow:_ yeah

_Samwell Tarly:_  ok im stealing it

_Jon Snow:_  why you’re lactose intolerant

_Samwell Tarly:_ yeah but my girlfriends son isnt and i need to make a good impression

_Jon Snow:_  this is so cute

_Jon Snow_ : but if you come even near my milk, you’re dead

_Jon Snow:_ i literally bought it this week

_Jon Snow_ : i need it for my cereal

_Samwell Tarly:_  grow up jon

* * *

_Jon Snow:_ i’m going to a festival with sansa tonight so don’t wait up

_Theon Greyjoy:_  wasnt going to

_Jon Snow:_  you know it would be very nice if you pretended to actually care about me

_Theon Greyjoy_ : what you talking about snow of course i care about you

_Theon Greyjoy:_  weve been friends since we were 12 why would i not care about you?

_Theon Greyjoy:_ but im staying at robbs flat today so i cant wait up for you

_Theon Greyjoy_ : ill be spending the entire night getting fucked so…

_Jon Snow:_  this would have been really nice without that last part

* * *

_Jeyne Poole_ : have fun in the festival tonight!

_Sansa Stark_ : im bringing some condoms so ill have safe fun

_Jeyne Poole:_ you better

_Jeyne Poole:_  no glove, no love

_Sansa Stark:_ yeah thanks again for giving me your ticket so i could take jon

_Jeyne Poole_ : anytime

_Jeyne Poole:_  not really tho, you owe me 50 bucks

_Sansa Stark_ : thought so

* * *

_Samwell Tarly:_ sansa just posted a picture wearing you’re hockey’s jersey. any explanations?

_Jon Snow:_  your*

_Samwell Tarly has blocked you._


End file.
